I've been thinking
a lot lately about the meaning of life - I try never to obsess about
small subjects. But I think I've figured something out. Each of us comes
in to the world with two things - a set of gifts and talents, and a
set of problems and challenges. Of course we don't know what exactly
they are - though most of us are typically more aware of our problems
than of our gifts.
So for the purpose
of this discussion lets call them The Good Stuff and The Crummy Stuff.
The Good Stuff is all our special talents, abilities, passions - the
things we know we are good at, the things that make us feel excited
and alive, the things that make us happy. All of us know what our Crummy
Stuff is - for some it is physical problems and challenges, for some
it is emotional and psychological issues, for some it may seem like
chronic bad luck.
Now here is the
Meaning-of-Life: We have to learn to make the most of The Good Stuff
while most effectively dealing with The Crummy Stuff. Simple, huh?
Most of us get so
bogged down with The Crummy Stuff that we forget all about The Good
Stuff - or we think we don't have time for it, or we think it's too
late, or we can't afford it. Or we can't do it because The Crummy Stuff
always gets in the way.
This is what I have
found out about The Crummy Stuff - that's why it exists. It exists to
get in the way of whatever wonderful, amazing, fulfilling, incredible
things we were born to do. And the best ally The Crummy Stuff has is
our sense of "justice".
"It's not fair,"
we say, "why did this happen to me? Why can't I have more (money,
talent, good health, support, education, assets, love, etc.)?"
We have all read
the inspiring stories about the penniless orphan who becomes a millionaire,
or the amputee who paints with her toes, or the cancer victim who climbs
Mount Everest - the schizophrenic who wins a Nobel Prize. We wonder
what makes it possible for them to do such remarkable things.
Why is it that way?
I've finally realized that it is part of our nature to be suspicious
of what comes easily. Humans thrive on challenge and distrust anything
that seems too simple. That's why it is so difficult for most of us
to believe that the things we love and have a natural talent for can
actually support us and bring us the greatest joy in life. The challenge
lies in believing that we have a right to be happy, incredible, successful,
and fulfilled - that The Good Stuff is just as real and important as
The Crummy Stuff.
In his inaugural
address Nelson Mandela said, "It is our light, not our darkness,
that frightens us. We ask ourselves ‘who am I to be brilliant?'
Who are you NOT to be?"
Maybe it is our
Puritan heritage, maybe it is a societal tendency to keep people in
their place but we seem to have a need to make sure that no one feels
too good about themself. A woman I know - who prides herself on her
enlightened consciousness - always admonishes others for their lack
of humility. "Aren't you modest?" she will say to anyone who
dares to talk about an accomplishment or a triumph. It is a common reaction.
For those of us
raised among such people it has become easier to not shine too much
for fear of the backlash from those who may feel threatened by our joy
or our success. Mandela said, "Your playing small does not serve
the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so people won't
feel insecure around us."
And therein we see
the usefulness of The Crummy Stuff - as long as we are beset by limitations
we have permission to not use The Good Stuff. We can hide in the safety
of our problems and receive the approval and support of others who feel
less threatened by our problems than by our successes.
Many people are
willing to share opinions about how awful things are - the government,
the traffic, the weather, men, women, kids today, Democrats, Republicans,
the economy, the environment, the state of the world. How many times
have I found myself agreeing with someone who is complaining about these
things? And how many times have I said, what a gorgeous day this is,
only to be told, ‘don't get too excited it's going to rain all
next week and winter is coming.'
So what I am advocating
is a revolution. It is revolution of joyfulness. A revolution of unblocking
the light. Start giving attention to the things that make you happy.
Start finding time for the things that make your heart sing. And as
you do, talk about it - tell others! Say, "I made the best blueberry
pie last night!" Say, "I spent an hour practicing the guitar
today and I feel great!" Say, "I've been restoring this old
car and it is so good to do - I can't wait to get back to work on it!"
And if somebody
says, "Well, aren't you modest?" say, "Why should I be?
- this feels terrific!!!"
The more time we
spend with The Good Stuff, the less powerful The Crummy Stuff will be
in our lives. And the more we share our joy in our gifts and our satisfaction
the more it will encourage others to give it a try. Mandela said, "As
we let our own light shine we unconsciously give others permission to
do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, we liberate others."
So go out and do
something fantastic for yourself - do it for the sake of us all.
