"You
must love this time of year," people often say to me, "I'll
bet you get tons of Valentine's!"
I inherited the name Valentine from my father along with my blue eyes
and an inability to let anything drop.
"No," I tell them, "no more than anyone else."
"Still," I often hear, "it's such a romantic name. You
must really love it."
Ah, well, yes, I do love it but as to romantic...
Romantic is a curious word. In this day of romance novels and ultra-aggressive
commercialism, people have come to equate it with love and sentiments
designed to manipulate the emotions - to appreciation if you are the
receiver or to envy if you are not. But "romance" used to
mean something quite different. My dictionary gives this definition:
"A mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal, as of something
adventurous, heroic or strangely beautiful." I love that!
For years I have believed that a romantic life is something we create
day by day in our own unique ways. Somehow we have gotten the idea that
we have to wait for the magical person who will transform us into handsome
princes or beautiful princesses to have a romantic life but following
the dictionary definition each of us possesses the possibility of filling
our lives with romance every single day. I think it is about approaching
your life as an exciting adventure, one holding new possibilities at
every turn. I think it is about making a life instead of waiting for
a life to happen.
Mythologist Joseph Campbell often wrote and spoke about "the hero's
journey". He encouraged his students at Sarah Lawrence, and the
thousands of people who read his books and watched his PBS series, to
undertake the quest inward to get to know oneself. Inside each of us
is an entire world of strangely beautiful possibilities.
I am always astonished at the creative ways people find to add lovely
moments to their lives. In this age of utter exhaustion, when there
is never enough time, it's a challenge to tuck moments of bliss in between
taking care of kids, commuting, long hours at the job, family obligations,
the endless lists of "shoulds" that crowd our lives. And yet
so many people do.
I am a recent convert to the world of lovely teas. I always thought
of tea as something for people with daintier tastebuds than mine. I
was chatting online with my friend Paul who moved to Paris a few years
ago and said I wished he could send me an afternoon in Paris, my life
has been so demanding lately. A few weeks later a package arrived. In
a beautiful black and gold pouch was a tea named "Afternoon in
Paris". I brewed a pot and was swept away by the combined fragrance
of sweet oranges, luxurious vanilla, and intoxicating roses. I fell
in love.
Not all of us can be as daring as Paul who, following a bitter divorce,
took a consolation trip to Paris and, after a week there, decided he
wasn't coming back. He's lived there ever since. But I believe that
we need dreams and we need to find small ways to approach those dreams.
Books can take us there and music, hobbies and lovely teas or wines.
I read recently about a man who dreamed of a life as a writer. He set
up a table in his basement next to the washing machine and every night
found an hour or two to work on the novel he had been thinking about.
When it was ready for publication he sent it out many times before it
was bought by a small, low volume press that printed a short run and
then failed to promote it. The writer, still believing in his dream,
took what savings he had and bought a thousand copies from them. He
spent weekends driving around setting up a little cardtable in front
of Walmarts and trying to sell his book. He said some days not one person
so much as looked at him. But eventually he sold the copies and started
work on a second book which did much better. His name - of course you
are dying to know this - is John Grisham. He was a man who believed
in his dream and turned it into an adventure. A dream is a valentine
from our soul.
When we take that heroic journey inward we embark on an adventure that
lasts a lifetime. We discover that we are all amazing gifts waiting
to be unwrapped and discovered. We are all Valentines.
