Monday Morning

It’s Monday again. And today it is raining. I am not a morning person. I love working late at night when all the world is still and the phone doesn’t ring. Listening to the wind in the trees and the sound of the train a few blocks up the hill is a delicious part of working late at night.

But mornings are just annoying. I leave the phone turned off until I have my first cup of coffee and my email attended to. Then I can see by the little blinking light that people need to talk to me and I can scan the caller I.D. list and return calls.

I just got caller I.D. What an amazing invention that is! Why ever did I wait so long to get it? Now when I want to write for an hour or so I only need turn the ringer on the phone off and keep an eye out for the blinking light.

So it’s Monday morning and it is raining and my coffee is still dripping and I am wondering why on earth I thought it was a good idea to blog anyway. Is it really self-indulgence? Someone said that to me this week - who cares what a bunch of self-indulgent bloggers have to say? Who needs their opinions?

But I’m a long time 12 Stepper and I remember those first few month listening to people go on and on and on when I felt the same way. Who cares what you have to say? Get a hobby! And then one day a man I had noticed for several meetings began to talk. He was a cute guy - I’d noticed him before. So I paid attention and something happened - I heard what he was saying. He could have been me.

The Program talks about “identification”. I had my first real experience with identification and over the years that identification became so healing for me - I’m not alone. Someone else feels what I do. Someone else knows what it’s like.

So now I blog and, judging by my traffic stats, people are reading - some even return to read.

Underneath everything we share a common humanity - that feels so trite as I type it. But surely out there is another middle aged woman who wants more time to write and who struggles with mornings and loves the sound of rain in the trees. She’s the one I’m writing for today.

Thanks for reading.