“Hate-Fans”

I belong to a number of on-line forums for writers and artists. People committed to an endeavor, whatever it might be, can often benefit from the companionship of like-minded souls. Only those in pursuit of the same dreams can really understand the challenges and frustrations of the pursuit.

Over time there has been a lot of discussion of “hate-fans” - people who, for whatever reason, have decided to hate you and are as devoted in the pursuit of that hatred as the fans who love you. The sad thing is a really committed hate fan can often do a lot of damage - most especially to your self-confidence.

A writer in one of the groups published a simply lovely book last year. Despite the thousands who purchased the book and loved it, there was one guy who decided to hate her and was so committed in proving his hatred that now, every time something goes awry in the promotion of her latest books, her suspicions turn immediately to him. It is sad, but it is not uncommon. One committed hate-fan can undermine a lot of good work.

I don’t know why some of us are more inclined toward certain accomplishments than others are. But those of us who devote our energies to our dreams know the what-are-you-trying-to-prove contempt of the bitter ones who view a way of life other than their own as a criticism of their choices. Maybe it is the old Crabs-in-the-Barrel Syndrome. Don’t you dare try to climb out or we’ll pull you right back down here with us.

Mark only started writing a couple years ago but things are going well. He has published poetry, sold a short story to an anthology, is getting excellent feedback on his first book F/V Black Sheep, and is hard at work on his second, Code Flag Alpha. He told me that there is a recent rumor that he is gay. Apparently he has garnered a hate-fan or two who have decided any Gloucester fisherman who writes - let alone writes poetry - must be gay. Fortunately he has a sense of humor about it.

I had a former boyfriend who always asked “why are you always trying to prove yourself with all this stuff?” What do you say to that?

A little over a year ago I garnered a couple hate-fans who have been very busy little bees. The stories come back to me mostly through on-line sources. They have been spreading the rumor that I am “telling lies” about them. She is apparently married and he is single and they claim I am telling people that they are having an affair. Now, bear in mind, I don’t know these people. I met him once, briefly, years ago. I wasn’t impressed. I wouldn’t know her if I tripped over her. But they insist that I am maliciously telling lies about their alleged affair.

What makes this funny to me is that my gossiping about them is supposed to have begun at a cocktail party last Fall*. The truth is, I went to quite a few cocktail parties last Fall - it was an exciting time in my life. I had just published Lila’s book of poetry Split-Image Focus, had my short story Asa published in an anthology, and had received a rather wonderful commission for some design work by a prestigious organization in Boston. It was a heady time and there were plenty of social events that went with it. Why, in the midst of all that attention, would I decide to gossip about two people I don’t know? Is it just a sad plea for attention from those who are not getting it by attaching themselves, however negatively, to some one who is?

I guess, in a way, all these hate-fans are mini-versions of loonies like Valerie Solanis and John Hinkley who garnered notoriety that way. Pitiful but very, very real. I tell Mark, “when they stop taking shots at you, you know you are slipping.” People are fragile and needful of attention. It will always be that way. You can’t let it hamper your dreams. Just keep lighting those candles and pray that the light will be contagious.

Thanks for reading.

* The actual story that they are spreading is that I started this rumor when I was "drunk" at a party. Bearing in mind that I am well over 50 and haven't had more than two drinks at a time without being in immediate danger of falling asleep so far this millennium, this is just more of the endless slander -- in addition to the endless bid for attention.

Subsequent Posts for Reference:
• Evil Happens
• Malicious Intent: Evil Happens II

I am closing this post to Comments as I have no desire to add fuel to anyone's fire. My comments are offered as public information only. If anyone wants to give me their opinions/observations on this they are cordially invited to email their comments to: inquiry@parlezmoipress.com. Thanks for understanding.