Mysticism/Eroticism

The other day, watching the videos of water rising in New Orleans, I took my copy of A Recent Martyr by Valerie Martin off the bookshelf and re-read it. It is set in a New Orleans of an unspecified time, beset with oil and gas shortages and a mysterious plague. Chilling to read at this time. But the book is extraordinary for its brilliant portrayal of obsession - mystical and erotic.

At the center of the book are two women. Emma is erotically obsessed with Pascal. Claire who is mystically obsessed with God - specifically the hand of Christ crucified. Martin is a brilliant writer. She has an unnerving habit of making observations about her characters that hit terrifyingly close to home. As I was reading I thought, strange as it seems, I understood Claire’s obsession more clearly than I did Emma’s and that surprised me. Sexual obsession requires a commitment to another human being and a willingness to overlook their flaws and failings. Or to embrace them as part of the obsession. But obsession with the Divine, that tantalizes me.

Claire in many ways reminds me of Marietta of Marietta in Ecstasy by Ron Hansen. Both are young, beautiful girls of French extraction who are besotted by their desire for union with Christ. The first time I read Marietta in Ecstasy I found the ending of the book so shocking it haunted me for weeks.

Eventually I was fortunate to have an email correspondence with Mr. Hansen and I asked him about the ending of the book. He told me the story of how he came to that ending and it came directly from a comment made by a priest of his acquaintance. I must say it thrilled me.

So I have been thinking about this strange parallel of mysticism and eroticism. There is plenty of precedent for it. Throughout history mystics have written of their experiences with such passion and such sensuous language that the eroticism inherent in the experience is hard to ignore. The most stunning example is Bernini’s statue of St. Theresa in Ecstasy - if that’s not a woman having an orgasm I don’t know what is (not surprisingly a closeup of the statue's face is used for the cover of the paperback edition of Mariette in Ecstasy).

One time a boyfriend of mine told me that Catholic school girls made the best lovers because they knew how to surrender. That shocked me too. But at the same time I knew it was true. When you have been trained to sublimate your will to God and surrender your personal desires to the desires of the Divine there is a freedom in that. A freedom not understood by those who have no experience with it. It is a freedom from your own ego and willfulness and sometimes there is great relief in that.

I am a persistent person. It is part of my nature. I have been known to stay in relationships, jobs, friendships, living situations, and personal projects much longer than I should have. So I am frequently faced with the problem of when does persistence become obsession and when does obsession become stupidity. Learning to let go is good - whether it is letting go of the ego or letting go of self-will. Discernment is necessary - but sometimes elusive.

But I am fascinated by the eroticism that seems inherent in mysticism. And vice versa. Perhaps it is born of the intensity, the passion, and the ability to release the self that both require. I often find writing to be both mystical and erotic - when I can really let go of my plans for the writing and let the writing shape itself and, ultimately, me with it. Surrendering the ego is hard but it is beautiful. I have a lot to learn about this path but at least I know that the path is there.

Thanks for reading.