How to Write About Christmas?

Like everyone I have been thinking a lot about Christmas and trying to sort out my feelings about it. Christmas is hard to write about without slipping into sentimentality or romanticism or grouchiness. I grew up in a big, Catholic family and Christmas dominated at least a quarter of the year. It began when the first aunt or cousin said, “I’ve got most of my Christmas shopping done already” (this happened sometime after the Back to School Sales signs were taken down) and ended with the dismantling and disposal of the Christmas tree sometime after Little Christmas or Epiphany.

There is a lot going on in between those dates - Halloween, Thanksgiving, Advent.... life - but Christmas was decidedly the Holy Grail of annual Catholic family life. The thing about Christmas was that there was so much to think about -- presents and baking being the main ones. In our family they were about equal in importance. And of course there is decorating, and then there is the lists and lists and lists of people you have to remember – teachers, coaches, business associates, far-off relatives, the guy who helped you fix a flat tire last summer. And cards, don’t forget cards. You have to buy them and chose the right one and write little notes and address them and lay in a supply to be sent out in a hurry to those folks you forget but who didn’t forget you.

Well, suffice it to say Christmas required those three months to prepare for and the extra couple weeks to clean up from. I liked Christmas when I was a kid and, even after I left home, always went back for Christmas for a good many years. Even when I lived in Texas I flew back each year until the Christmas came when the man I was with said, “I wish you would stay here this year.” That was when Christmas began to change.

That turned out to be a difficult Christmas for me. For one thing I wasn’t used to Christmases where people came to dinner wearing shorts and we ate outside at a picnic table. Talk about culture shock! It was fun but I felt like I missed something – something important.

Since then Christmas has changed a lot for me. Some years I have gone back to Pennsylvania to be with my family. Other years I have stayed wherever I was to be with friends. For awhile I tried to maintain the traditions I grew up with, then I tried to create Christmas traditions of my own. In recent years I have no idea how I feel about Christmas. There is a little nostalgia for a past that is long gone. Christmas has gotten to be a competitive sport among too many people and I can’t handle that. I’m religious enough to not want to let it go and yet not so religious that Christmas has great significance beyond a sweet reminder about an infant being born in a stable. I love the story, the legends but I am educated enough to know that it is largely symbolic and so the actual date of the celebration is something mankind has created.

Christmas is “loaded”, y’know? You want the fairy tale but reality isn’t up to that. You want the romance, the sentimentality, or you reject it altogether. My best times have been spent with a few people I like cooking, talking, laughing. I’ve learned that I have to do Christmas on my own terms not to resent it. Making gifts for special people in my life, making my truffles and passing them out to those who don’t expect them, calling someone to say ‘I’ve been thinking about you’ and be reassured that they have thought of me too. And then just being quiet.

So I play music that I love. I’ve attended a few parties and have a couple more ahead. On Christmas I am making beef bourguignon, one of my few specialties, to share with a few well-loved friends. Otherwise it is a time of quiet and peace and contentment for me. Maybe by next year I’ll have this Christmas thing figured out but for this year things are going well. Life is good. All is right with my world.

Merry Christmas, to all of you and yours. May your holidays be beautiful and may the New Year bring peace, love, and prosperity to you all.

Thanks for reading.