Women’s Work

A friend told me yesterday that she knitted a lot of her Christmas presents this year and one of the gift recipients commented that, while she appreciated the gift, she couldn’t understand why an intelligent woman like my friend would spend (interpretation: waste) so much time knitting things. My friend was astonished and hurt by the response. I don’t blame her.

“Why do you think she said that?” I asked. “Well,” my friend said, “she’s a feminist and...” Say no more.

On Open Source’s Passion for Knitting program last week, Debbie Stoller commented on that very thing. The Sixties generation of feminists, namely my generation, were openly critical of all those old arts that had come to be known as “women’s work” but the new generation of feminists - the Bust Magazine generation - is turning that around. One of the reasons I subscribe to Bust is because I just love their articles about knitting, sewing (how can you not love an article about hemming and sewing on buttons called “Hand Jobs”?), and cooking. Stitching and baking is “in” among this bunch of women and I’m proud of them for it!

I’ve been an independent woman all my life and damn proud of it. I’ve always supported myself, mostly in the corporate world, and need apologize to no one for my professional accomplishments. I have also always sewed, knitted, baked, and cooked. I do those things because I love doing them. I am very appreciative of the Women’s Movement and can personally testify to all it has done for my life and the lives of other women – both in the office and in society – but I am a strong believer that there is most definitely a difference between men and women and I am grateful for that. I love men and I’m glad they are different.

Maybe because I grew up in a rugged, rural area with a father and three brothers who were unapologetically male – they hunted and fished, built houses and carved gunstocks – I’ve always loved those kinds of men. I’ve generally found that men who are totally secure in that aspect of themselves are the easiest to be around for me. They know who they are and don’t have to keep proving it. I hope that I am that kind of woman – I like my femininity even when I am out in the world earning a living and kicking whatever professional butt needs to be kicked.

There are things in the world of men that I am perfectly happy to let men have – like sports. I don’t get sports (Mark, who is as unapologetically male as they come, informed me on Sunday that I am a “football-knowledgeless communist”) and it is just fine with me if men do. Although I do take some umbrage at the comment about football. I mean, I went to Penn State, for God’s sake! I used to go to the same dentist as Joe Paterno! Still, as much as I can admire the aesthetics of Doug Flutie’s drop-kick, it wasn’t a defining moment in my life.

And I love that there are men who are skilled in knitting and sewing. Guys like Joe, Franklin, Ted and the Bishop of Leicester delight my heart. But I will never understand the attitude of those who see needlework as “women’s work” and see that as somehow beneath them.

Last night I worked late in my sewing room. I made a recent stash run (yeah, I really needed it) to Malden Mills’s Outlet Store in Lawrence and have been making some snuggly warm Polar Fleece sweatshirts and pants to wear while I work on these cold winter days. Sure, I could buy them but bought clothes have no soul. There is a peace in my sewing room, as though it exists in another time, and I find myself totally blissful and contented there. Maybe the lesson to be learned from my friend’s story is not to stop enjoying “women’s work” but to just be much more judicious about who you give it to.

Thanks for reading.