Priorities

Last night was our weekly Ladies Night at a local restaurant and, as always, the conversation was wonderful. It amazes me that, as often as we meet, we can always find something to discuss that everyone is passionate about — I love that. Usually our conversations concern plans for various local initiatives but sometimes it strays into the personal and that is wonderful too. There is a great joy in having a circle of trusted and intelligent friends to spend time with. It provides on-going inspiration, support, new perspectives, and faith that, whatever vicissitudes our day-to-day world may contain, we have one another to talk things over with and that is wonderful.

Last night we got talking about a radio interview a couple of us had heard on NPR over the weekend with a researcher who has been doing a study on internet pornography and its role in the lives of the people who spend hours and hours perusing those sites. The researcher stated that some men spend four or more hours a day on these sites. My first thought was, “Good lord, that’s four hours I could be knitting!”

One of the members of our group worked as a systems analyst for many years for a software company. She told about a situation where one of their analysts had racked up countless hours on a various internet porn sites and, when it was called to the attention of his superior, he pointed out that the internet porn sites were fascinating to him because they had the most efficient programming capabilities for gathering user information, tracking movement, and collecting data on the time spent on these sites. The analyst was using the data tracking and gathering capabilities of the porn sites as a model for developing new programs. Good excuse or good thinking? I’ll bet on the latter. Most dedicated programmers are far more interested in the latest cyber-gizmos than they are in titillation.

Though I have to confess a fascination with the fascination with pornography. When I was listening to the radio researcher speak, I realized that my own awareness of pornography and its availability is pretty lame. As a woman that doesn’t make me unusual. According to the research women comprise a very, very small percentage of people who indulge in internet porn and then, usually, it is done with a partner and not by themselves. Porn is pretty much a boy’s club and the internet makes it readily available day and night.

A few years back I got involved in a project to publish a book of erotica. The project was started by three women following on the popularity at the time of other women’s erotica collections. But somewhere along the way, we all lost interest and it never went anywhere. I think the difference between pornography and erotica is an interesting one because pornography tends to be more visual while erotica tends to be the written word. This fits neatly into the old stereotype (and stereotypes exist for a reason) that men are attracted by the visual and women are attracted by the auditory.

There have been a lot of stories in the news lately about prominent people — including politicians — being caught in internet porn stings. It is, to me, a bizarre situation. How do people have time for these things? You have to be pretty stupid not to realize the information-gathering potential of the internet. But more than that, there is so much to be done in the world and in life. Who has time for stuff like that?

So, anyway, the topic generated a great discussion and some fresh insights into the weird workings of the human mind. And, as always, I was gratified to know that I hang out with women who would rather knit, shop, write, sew, etc. etc. than look at pornography. We might be getting older but at least we have our priorities in line.

Thanks for reading.