Spring Training

No this isn’t about baseball. I don’t know anything about baseball. I know that Joe, my niece Emily’s darling husband, plays for the Dodgers — #97, Relief Pitcher, ERA: 3.54. However what all of that means, I have no idea. That's him at left --- he's so cute I couldn't resist. Nope, around here spring training means, it’s spring, we go outside more and wear fewer clothes. OH MY GOD I LOOK LIKE %$#@! Then the panic starts.

I’m not a particularly vain person and have never cared much whether I am in “fashion” (I know about as much about that as I do about baseball), have a flattering haircut, or even if my shoes match. But there is the whole issue of how I feel and this last winter was rough. I’ve been horribly stiff and sore from spending too much time bent over the computer indulging in the two things I do actually care about — writing and making a living.

So, anyway, I went out to dinner with a few girlfriends recently and we discussed this whole thing and decided to try to do the no-carb thing for awhile. Jane has been doing it for a long time and she looks fantastic. The rest of us are neophytes.

Actually when the Atkins Diet was popular a few years back I did it for awhile and lost a fair amount of weight. Problem was people kept telling me I was in outer space half the time. Well, I kind of was but so what? How can you tell? Now I know that that is one of the peculiar side effects of losing weight (why did it take me this long to know this???) Some people try to sabotage you. They see you losing weight and some ancient primitive gizmo in their brain screams “now she’ll get the caveman that I want!” and so they tell you that your skin is getting saggy or you’re crabby all the time or they’re worried about you because you haven’t been yourself. It is the Female Passive-Aggressive Sabotage Gambit. It usually works.

So the sun has finally come out around here and the beaches are calling and I, as usual, have decided I need to do at least a few things to get healthy. So it’s back to lo-carb with a couple of differences. The last time I really took no-carb seriously. I literally ate no-carbs. So this time I am eating more veggies — salads, cauliflower, my favorite brussels sprouts with a little mustard. And also I have the support of three girlfriends who are doing the same thing and who will back me up if the saboteurs show up.

In a way it’s kind of fun. Jane, who has been doing this for years, has been a godsend. She has such good ideas. I’m learning yummy new ways to eat from her. By and large salads topped with steak tips, grilled chicken, scallops or swordfish are the mainstay of my diet but I’m finding other treats too. Right now I’m in love with raw sliced mushrooms dipped in bleu cheese dressing for a snack. I cook up a huge pot of stewed rhubarb with some strawberries added and sweeten it with Splenda for a sweet treat. I’m crazy about rhubarb. Plus it is — ahem — cleansing.

The other thing I am discovering is that in the years since I did this before, restaurants have gotten used to their no/lo-carb customers and don’t flinch when you say “I’ll take the shredded beef burrito with green chilies and sour cream, hold the flour tortilla.”

So, who knows? I’m not setting any goals except staying on the path. We’ll see what happens. Maybe it will improve my ERA — whatever the heck that is.

Thanks for reading.