Winter Solstice
Tonight is the longest night of the year which, of course, means that the days will now be getting longer. That is a thing I am always grateful for. I do like winter --- I like having the luxury of staying home because I work at home and not having to go out unless I want to or need to. In nice weather I always feel like I should go out whether I want to or not.
In a few days it will be Christmas and, again this year, I have not done much about making plans and am not sure how I feel about that. Part of me thinks I should want to do something special to celebrate but the truth is I don't really have anything I particularly want to do. For many years Christmas was always this big annual event that involved tons of presents and making travel plans and cabs and airports and figuring out how to transport packages and all kinds of carrying on. I think I made such a ruckus that I didn't have time to stop and think that I really wasn't much enjoying what I was doing. Then for a number of years I made the long drive back to Pennsylvania to be with my family though, in all honesty, it was 24 hours of driving and 5-7 days of annoying confusion just for the 2 or 3 hours of happiness that occurred during our annual family Christmas party. A few times I rebelled and made plans elsewhere with a lover or a some friends but that old home-for-the-holidays thing always got me in the end.
Toward the end of her life my Mother, who had at one time been the Queen of Christmas, got very blue around the holidays. She had 8 children but all of us had other attachments and she felt left out much of the time. I can remember Christmas Eves spent at home with her and my father (who couldn't have cared less) when she would be terribly blue and weepy over the fact that all her children (except me who didn't really count because I hadn't been thoughtful enough to supply her with some grandchildren) were busy with other plans. It wasn't fun.
After my mother died I spent a good many Christmases with my father. Often we would go to the house of another sibling and family but the truth was, other than a half hour of ho-ho-hos, a plate of turkey and a couple glasses of wine, he was ready for the couch and a long winter's nap. Dad was always a very solitary and reclusive person and I'm well aware that I inherited that from him. Since he died this past February this is my first Christmas parent-less and I have this weird, inexplicable feeling about it. I feel like I SHOULD want to be with family or with a lot of friends but the truth is I don't. The truth is I understand how Dad felt all those years --- yeah, yeah, Merry Christmas, is it time to go back home yet?That doesn't mean that I want to ignore Christmas either. I've been busy
making gifts and finally finished my Gryffindor House Scarves for a few of the young'uns. And I made some beautiful hats, scarves, and gloves for special friends and family members. At left are the half-finger gloves I knit for one special person and I just love them. They are knit from Knit Picks' Andean Silk which is a warm, elegant blend of alpaca and silk. They feel just wonderful on. In fact, I liked them so much that I have started a second pair (right) also in Knit Picks yarn, this time their Gloss which is a very soft and lustrous blend of Merino Wool and Silk. I think it is the nicest yarn I have ever worked with and it is so fine I may just go ahead and knit full fingers for these.Gloucester is slowly recovering from last Friday night's tragedy. The firemen are still vigilant and hosing down hot areas. The library is still closed and the Y just reopened today. Both suffered serious smoke damage. There is a candlelight vigil tonight in front of the remains of the synagogue. It is a sad time for many.
And the Lobster Trap Tree has been completed and is bigger and brighter than it has ever been. I'm sure I'll take a trip down there this weekend to have a look at it --- that always makes me happy.
So... it is a strange holiday season. I am planning on taking a break from work and spending as much time as I can on two writing projects that have been languishing --- writing is, of course, the great love in my life. Each Angel Burns needs a final polish before going out for the next set of test reads and there is another new bunch of characters nagging at me. They want to come to life and they do not care whether or not I like Christmas they just want me to pay attention to them. So I will.
Thanks for reading.
posted by Kathleen Valentine at 7:08 PM
1 Comment:
Hi Kathleen. I just moved up to Glouucester from Boston (Jamaica Plain) a couple of months ago. In searching for comments on obscure Gloucester stuff of interest to me, I keep coming upon your blog, so I have decided to check it regularly as part of my new world.
I have run into more people than I expected who have relocated from the big city and commute back to their same old jobs but otherwise have a radical new life on Cape Ann. I joked at first that "Gloucester is the new JP", but I am beginning to think it is true, and I am afraid old Gloucester folk are going to hate that when they catch onto it. I think and hope it's the "early settlers" of JP to whom Gloucester even appeals, the old hippie types and not the nuevo yuppies who are moving into JP nowadays. And I hope the old Gloucester-persons who rightfully don't want to be gentrified by yupsters can appreciate the difference. I used to be a carpenter and a bus driver, went to night school to try for steadier work with benefits and heat, which I have now achieved. So now I get to take the beautiful (and I am told formerly reliable) train ride down the coast to work at sunrise every day. It is all an honor and I love it. And I go out of my way to spend my paycheck in Gloucester - groceries, meals out, christmas presents, hardware supplies, insurance. I stay away from big boxes and seek out local small business. I love this place and hope I can fit in, and really hope it doesn't get gobbled up by the adjective "luxury", the way JP is.
So then there's "the winter holiday". I used to hate it, but I have warmed up to it again as I realize how cosmic it is. Regardless of mythology, whether a magical child in a roadside garage with a halo, or a magical oil lamp in an adverse situation, it is all about light in the darkness. Literal light in the literal dark of the Northern Hemishpere Winter at its literal darkest moment, and then whatever mythology or nonsense or reverence you decide to apply. Community is important, and that's the true meaning of a silly pile of lobster traps, right?
Although I have only been there once so far, I would invite you to join the congregation at the Rockport UU Fellowship for their Sunday morning service before Christmas. UU's in general are a great way to experience reverent community without being told how to think. They are primarily though not entirely Humanist in their "theology". They are about helping one another through the life cycle, not about honing creed. The Gloucester UU's seem a bit too old fashioned and Christian for my taste. The Rockport group seems more liberal humanist. Maybe check them out. You need not "embrace" the holidays, but you also need not be alone in that.
I'll shut up now. Happy Solstice, happy turning point.
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